how the saboteur highlights your self-esteem
Part 4 of a 5-Part Series: Connecting with Your Intuition
In the last post, we met the saboteur — this inner part that tries to disrupt, course correct by stopping us from taking risks, or stepping into the life we actually want.
Today, we’re going deeper into why the saboteur feels so powerful:
Because it is directly tied to our self-esteem — the way we speak to ourselves, the beliefs we hold about our worth, and whether we believe we have a place in the world.
How Self-Sabotage Protects — and Limits — Us
“Don’t try that. It won’t work.”
“You’re not ready yet.”
“Someone else can do it better.”
These internal fear scripts are protective- if we expect failure, rejection, or disappointment, then holding ourselves back feels like safety. We procrastinate. We avoid. We shrink. We make ourselves very, very busy doing anything other than the thing that matters.
Because if we don’t try — we can’t fail. But we also can’t grow.
My Recent Wake-Up Call
Over the last few months, I finally faced something I’ve been avoiding. I realized I was sabotaging myself — especially with the work I absolutely love. The fear that came up was loud:
I’m not good enough.
It won’t work out again.
I can’t trust myself with what I’m called to do.
You really can’t be a procrastinator when you deeply believe in yourself. So I brought my anxiety and sabotage patterns into my most recent BodyTalk session. And what surfaced was old beliefs I’ve been carrying for a long time:
“It’s never my time.”
“Things I work hard for will never fully come to life.”
Woof. Heavy, right? Seeing the belief clearly made me realize it’s not true. I’m blaming outside forces as a way to protect myself. The saboteur points to our beliefs about ourself, and blame is one of their favourite tools to do this. The saboteur whispers: “See? It’s the universe against you.” “Other people get the success. Not you.” When we hold those old inner beliefs, we cling to the excuses, we hold the blame as reasons to deflect and defend. our invitation here is to dig a little deeper. I had to look at those statements and see that deep down was a scared little girl who doesn’t trust her power, who is still unsure about myself and my capacity.
Those statements were a buffer, a protection from feeling that vulnerability. Those blame statements were just trying to protect me, but they are the truth, and now I can see that they aren’t serving me anymore.
Self-Esteem Grows Every Time We Face the Pattern
Every time we acknowledge the blame and and investigate deeper, we nourish:
confidence
capacity
self-respect
belief in our own power
This is how self-esteem grows — not by never feeling fear, but by meeting our fear with with a new response- tenderness.
Empowerment Is the Work of a Lifetime. We aren’t trying to destroy the saboteur. We’re learning to recognize when their prodding — and choose a new path. We’re building the muscles of:
self-reflection
self-trust
self-empowerment
Recognizing these patterns, noticing the blame we place on ourselves or others, and naming the ways we hold ourselves back is the first step — now we can turn our attention inward, meet the saboteur with curiosity and compassion, and prepare to reconnect with our intuition through body-based practices in the next blog post.
Guided Reflection — Meeting the Saboteur with Compassion
Consider journaling on one or two:
What belief about myself has been protecting me — but is also limiting me?
What would I do today if I believed it IS my time?
What are my blame stories? investigate a little. What beliefs might be underneath?
What’s one action that would empower me — even just a little?
Stay tuned for the last installment - out next week
